A few months before Maddie Mae was born, I was texting my mom who is in Colorado serving an L.D.S. mission (don't worry--she wasn't breaking any rules...they're a little easier/more lax with those senior couples). I was to the point in my pregnancy where I wasn't yet terribly uncomfortable, but was also very excited to meet peanut. I liked watching Maddie roll around in my tummy (which she did a LOT). Matt would "spank her bumb," through my big baby bump. I knew she was safe and happy inside me and although I wasn't sleeping a ton, I knew (and was correct) that I'd be sleeping much less soon enough. I was also getting a tiny bit terrified about delivery (wasted energy--you can't control a darn thing when it comes to labor and it turned out to be quite a bit easier than I imagined . . . it's spelled E-P-I-D-U-R-A-L, ladies). So altogether, it was a mixed pot of emotions--excitement, fear, anxiety, and joy. I was expressing this to my mom when she sent me a beautiful one-liner:
"THIS WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER."
I still have the text message saved in my phone and knew, without really knowing, that my mom was dispensing some powerful wisdom. I would peek inside my phone, read the message, and get a little shiver down my spine each day as the due date grew closer.
Oddly enough, during one of Grandma Patsy's first encounters with Maddie (it may have even been at the hospital), she looked up at me, and, using the exact same words, stated, "THIS WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER."
Several other mommas have used similar expressions in conversations with me over the last two weeks. My big sister, Kellie, when trying to comfort me during some breastfeeding blues, said, "Life will never be the same...for the GOOD...most days." :) And now I understand. Probably not completely. But more and more everyday. Motherhood is HARD. But it is also the most beautiful, wonderful, rewarding, joyful, perfect thing in the whole world. Oooooooooooh, how I love my baby girl!
5 comments:
She's adorable, Kaye. And thanks for sharing wisdom from Marcia--one of my mothering heroes.
I love all of these blogs and pictures of Maddie. You'll be amazed at how quickly you forget what life was like before her though.
I know you are already an amazing mom! You've mothered so many children already. Maddie is so lucky to have you two as parents! We are coming in July to kiss on her cheeks and give you all a squeeze! Sorry to hear about the breastfeeding blues, it is a hard first few weeks, but hopefully it is getting better for you! Love you!!
So, true! I can't tell you how badly I wish we were closer and I could just bop on over and kiss on that cute little girl. I can almost 'smell' her through my monitor!
I'm not really anonymous--it's your dear sister Kell. It's the only way I can comment anymore!
Dear sister, Kell: Is it only my blog that is so mean and won't let anyone comment (until now) or do you have trouble posting on other blogs? Any tips for me on how to fix that bug? Mom said she tried for 10 min and finally gave up and emailed me. Any help would be appreciated.
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